The majority of my posts have centred around the fishing and very little, if any mention, of the depression and after all that was the reason behind the blog, so I could keep a record of my journey dealing with this debilitating illness. It hasn't been easy but then again it hasn't been especially difficult either considering the medication and the support I have received from friends, family and colleagues.
The realisation that I was suffering from depression meant that a lot of things about how I had been feeling now made sense. There are some psychological symptoms that everyone should be aware of so they can seek the help they need if they experience some of these symptoms for most of the day, every day for more than two weeks.
Continuous low mood or sadness
Feeling hopeless and helpless
Having low self-esteem
Feeling tearful
Feeling guilt-ridden
Feeling irritable and intolerant of others
Having no motivation or interest in things
Finding it difficult to make decisions
Not getting any enjoyment out of life
Feeling anxious or worried
Having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself
Depression creeps up on you gradually, so it can be difficult to notice something is wrong, and many people continue to try to cope with their symptoms without realising they are ill. It can take a friend or family member to suggest something is wrong, which often leads to conflict. Going to the Doctors and getting help is of paramount importance and then the road to recovery can begin when the type of depression has been identified.
Mild depression has some impact on your daily life
Moderate depression has a significant impact on your daily life
Severe depression makes it almost impossible to get through daily life and unfortunately a few people with severe depression may have psychotic symptoms
The trigger for my depression was the death of my Mum and it can be hard to distinguish between grief and depression because they share many of the same characteristics, but there are important differences between them. Grief is an entirely natural response to a loss, while depression is an illness and people who are grieving find their feelings of loss and sadness come and go, but they're still able to enjoy things and look forward to the future. In contrast, people who are depressed have a constant feeling of sadness and struggle to enjoy anything, finding it hard to be positive about the future.
So how has fishing helped me then ?
I can't say that I had a bad childhood, but I wish I had a different one if that makes sense. My Dad was the type who would show me how to do something once and expect me to grasp it immediately. If I didn't do it perfect within the first few attempts his patience would wear very thin, very quickly and he would start to get angry. The result was that I felt useless and my fear of trying new things grew and grew and has followed me into my adult life. I honestly believe that this has been one of the underlying factors behind my depression and has affected every area of my life. I grew up thinking that I was useless at everything and had no confidence in myself.
I'm not going to sit here and blame him for everything because there were times when I spent some very happy times with him, I just wish he had a little more patience with me and was less critical of my efforts. When he tried to teach me how to fish I was given a 6 foot cane rod and spent hours down in the car park of the flats where we then lived learning how to cast. There were some garages about 10 to 15 yards from the path and I was told that before he would take me fishing, I had to be able to cast my float and reach the garages. He set me up with the float, shot and hook and tried to teach me to cast in a sideways motion, after opening the bale arm and pulling a length of line out so the float moved upwards towards the tip of the rod. Even today I can't cast with this technique so as a 8 or 9 year old I had no chance. Not once did I manage to hit the garage doors, and again I felt that I had let my Dad down and was a complete failure.
I think what I am trying to say in a round about way is that learning to fish now has proved to me that I am not useless that I can try new things and be a success at them and that I should believe in myself more. My confidence has been boosted and it really is becoming apparent in other areas of my life as well, both personal and professional. I have realised my worth at work and what I can achieve, not getting stressed out when faced with new challenges and improving my performances. In my personal life I am trying new things and doing DIY jobs which I would have steered clear of this time last year. I just need to work on a few other things like socialising with others and I think I will be a much more improved me.
I honestly believe that fishing has played a large part in this transformation because I had no idea about anything to do with the sport before, I didn't know how to set up, what the best tactics were, what bait to use or anything. I now approach every session with confidence that I have developed enough knowledge and skill to catch fish and if it looks like I could blank, it has given me the confidence to try a new approach and not just give up thinking I was a failure like I would have at one time. I would recommend anyone with depression to find something that works for them the way fishing has for me. I am seeing the glass more half full these days......
See you on the bankside.....
The realisation that I was suffering from depression meant that a lot of things about how I had been feeling now made sense. There are some psychological symptoms that everyone should be aware of so they can seek the help they need if they experience some of these symptoms for most of the day, every day for more than two weeks.
Continuous low mood or sadness
Feeling hopeless and helpless
Having low self-esteem
Feeling tearful
Feeling guilt-ridden
Feeling irritable and intolerant of others
Having no motivation or interest in things
Finding it difficult to make decisions
Not getting any enjoyment out of life
Feeling anxious or worried
Having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself
Depression creeps up on you gradually, so it can be difficult to notice something is wrong, and many people continue to try to cope with their symptoms without realising they are ill. It can take a friend or family member to suggest something is wrong, which often leads to conflict. Going to the Doctors and getting help is of paramount importance and then the road to recovery can begin when the type of depression has been identified.
Mild depression has some impact on your daily life
Moderate depression has a significant impact on your daily life
Severe depression makes it almost impossible to get through daily life and unfortunately a few people with severe depression may have psychotic symptoms
The trigger for my depression was the death of my Mum and it can be hard to distinguish between grief and depression because they share many of the same characteristics, but there are important differences between them. Grief is an entirely natural response to a loss, while depression is an illness and people who are grieving find their feelings of loss and sadness come and go, but they're still able to enjoy things and look forward to the future. In contrast, people who are depressed have a constant feeling of sadness and struggle to enjoy anything, finding it hard to be positive about the future.
So how has fishing helped me then ?
 |
| Never a truer word |
I'm not going to sit here and blame him for everything because there were times when I spent some very happy times with him, I just wish he had a little more patience with me and was less critical of my efforts. When he tried to teach me how to fish I was given a 6 foot cane rod and spent hours down in the car park of the flats where we then lived learning how to cast. There were some garages about 10 to 15 yards from the path and I was told that before he would take me fishing, I had to be able to cast my float and reach the garages. He set me up with the float, shot and hook and tried to teach me to cast in a sideways motion, after opening the bale arm and pulling a length of line out so the float moved upwards towards the tip of the rod. Even today I can't cast with this technique so as a 8 or 9 year old I had no chance. Not once did I manage to hit the garage doors, and again I felt that I had let my Dad down and was a complete failure.
I think what I am trying to say in a round about way is that learning to fish now has proved to me that I am not useless that I can try new things and be a success at them and that I should believe in myself more. My confidence has been boosted and it really is becoming apparent in other areas of my life as well, both personal and professional. I have realised my worth at work and what I can achieve, not getting stressed out when faced with new challenges and improving my performances. In my personal life I am trying new things and doing DIY jobs which I would have steered clear of this time last year. I just need to work on a few other things like socialising with others and I think I will be a much more improved me.
I honestly believe that fishing has played a large part in this transformation because I had no idea about anything to do with the sport before, I didn't know how to set up, what the best tactics were, what bait to use or anything. I now approach every session with confidence that I have developed enough knowledge and skill to catch fish and if it looks like I could blank, it has given me the confidence to try a new approach and not just give up thinking I was a failure like I would have at one time. I would recommend anyone with depression to find something that works for them the way fishing has for me. I am seeing the glass more half full these days......
See you on the bankside.....
intense
emotions of anxiety, hopelessness, negativity and helplessness - See
more at:
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/d/depression#sthash.ECU5lbs3.dpuf
intense
emotions of anxiety, hopelessness, negativity and helplessness - See
more at:
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/d/depression#sthash.ECU5lbs3.dthat people are always judging you, that they
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